Your Life, Your Rules: The Power of Boundaries

For a long time, I was the "Yes-Expert"

Yes, of course...

Yes, no problem...

Yes, that sounds like fun...

Yes, I can help with that...

Sounds familiar? Meanwhile, in our head and body, there's a no no no going on!

Only to realise that by saying yes to other's, I many times said no to myself.

OUCH, that hurt...

Imagine this: It's Friday night, your friends want to go out, but you're tired from work.

FOMO vs. self-care battle?

Ending up saying yes and feeling exhausted. We've all been there!

Results? Stress, Regrets, Tiredness, Anxiety and Disconnecting from myself.

One day, my coach hit my in my face with the truth:

"Adele - You have to stop saying yes to everything and everyone. You can't give 100% in all areas. Learn to say No."

That's it. I could either live my life as a yes-sayer, people pleaser and lost soul just living my life in the needs of others.

Or I can reclaim my time and power and build this superpower of saying no and be true to myself.

Of course, I choose the latter.

I choose to start setting healthy boundaries as an act of self-preservation, self-respect, and self-love.

What if saying Yes to the right things ( instead of everything) created the opportunities for magic you need and want?

The Freedom of Boundaries

Contrary to common misconceptions, boundaries are not constricting; instead, they offer a sense of freedom. By clearly defining what you're comfortable with and what you're not, you create a space where authentic connections can happen, and you can truly be yourself.

What Boundaries Really Mean (Hint: It's Not Rocket Science)

Think of boundaries as your personal superhero cape—protecting your mental health and saving you from becoming a stressed-out mess. It's like drawing a line in the sand and saying, "Here's my happy space, please don't step on it."

How to Say No and Set Boundaries

But Adele - How do I do it? Where do I start?

The real secret? Saying no is a muscle you have to build. You have to do it, over and over again, until it becomes your default.

Know your priorities: Before you can start saying "no," identify what's truly important to you. Consider your values, goals, and priorities. When faced with a decision, ask yourself, "Does this align with my priorities?"

Practice makes perfect: Saying "no" is a skill that takes practice. Start small by saying "no" to less consequential things. For instance, if a colleague offers you a donut but you're trying to eat healthier, a simple "no, thank you" will do. As you become comfortable, apply it to more significant decisions.

Be assertive, not aggressive: There's a fine line between being assertive and aggressive. When saying "no," be firm but polite. Phrases like "I appreciate the offer, but I can't commit right now" can soften the blow.

Offer alternatives: Saying "no" doesn't always mean rejection. If you can't commit, suggest an alternative or compromise. For example, if a friend wants to hang out but you're swamped with work, propose a later date when you're free.

It's not personal: When saying "no," emphasise that you're rejecting a request, not the person. Make it clear that your decision is based on circumstances, not feelings toward them.

Ditch the guilt: Let go of the guilt that often accompanies saying "no." You have the right to set boundaries and prioritise your well-being

Buying Yourself Means Saying Yes to You.

Ask yourself: What am I allowing into my life, and what am I no longer willing to tolerate? The answers become the blueprint for your personal boundaries—a roadmap to a life that reflects your self-worth and nurtures your well-being.

With that said, you don't have to say no to everything. It's only an invitation to stop and reflect (before just saying yes) over what saying yes to this means to you, your values, your time and your life.

Let's take on the challenge to stop and think - where can you say no today?

📚 Book Tip - Read more about this topic:

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

❓Who do you know that need to hear this today? Pass it forward 💌